UNBELIEVABLY IMPORTANT GIRAFFE INFORMATION
Editorial warning: this section contains a mix of one normal fact and several extremely stupid, intentionally fictional “facts.”
REAL FACT: Giraffes are the tallest living land animals.
DUMB FACT: A giraffe can detect Wi‑Fi with its forehead knobs.
DUMB FACT: Every giraffe is legally 14 feet away from being a ladder.
DUMB FACT: Their spots are QR codes, but phones are not powerful enough yet.
DUMB FACT: A group of giraffes is called “several giraffes.”*
DUMB FACT: Their necks get one centimeter longer every time you say “giraffe.”
*No it is not. Please do not cite this website in an academic paper. Your professor deserves better.
ADVANCED NECK SIMULATOR 3000™
Adjust the extremely scientific neck control. This data will be ignored.
180 NECK UNITS
RATE THIS GIRAFFE
You are allowed to rate from 1 to 37 stars because five stars is cowardice.
No rating submitted. The giraffe is nervous.
NECK COMPARISON CHART
| OBJECT | NECK RATING | COMMENT |
|---|---|---|
| Giraffe | YES | Excessive. Incredible. |
| Horse | Medium | Needs improvement. |
| Bowling ball | 0 | Embarrassing. |
OFFICIAL GIRAFFE TERMINAL
GIRAFFE-OS v0.0001
> booting neck.dll... OK
> loading spots... 4,892 spots found
> checking giraffe... VERY GIRAFFE
> status: standing around suspiciously
> booting neck.dll... OK
> loading spots... 4,892 spots found
> checking giraffe... VERY GIRAFFE
> status: standing around suspiciously
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